Goodbye Old Friend

I got a new car yesterday. That in itself isn't that  big a deal. It's a great car-minivan actually. It's really nice, rides great, has every option known to carmakers and was reasonably priced. The really big deal was the car (suv) I traded in for it. Oh, I know it was time, but it still wasn 't easy to let it go. Even after 11 years, 198,388 miles, 7656 hours of driving, and the threat of a failing transmission ( and other repairs needed-too many to mention), I still was ready to fight for it. My husband was worried there would be a catastrophic, perhaps dangerous fail, plus he resented replacing a vehicle one piece at a time, often to the tune of $1000 or more.
When I got that car, #1 son was only a lowly 8th grader. My girls were 8,  4, & 2. We were a family of seven, expecting number 8 in a few months. That car carried preschoolers, grade schoolers, high schoolers, and newborns. It carried grandmothers and uncles and aunts. It carried many friends and lots of groceries and cargo. It was thrown up in, and peed in. It endured spills, and splatters. It had any number of sticky substances ground into its carpet and seats. It housed tons of paperwork, and paper treasures made by loving hands. It proudly wore stickers from all our schools and universities.
You spend that much time with anything, or anyone, you get attached to it in some fashion even if it is an in animate object. The service writer at my car dealer began to refer to me as the car whisperer because anytime the car had a problem I could identify where the noise was coming from pretty accurately and even have an idea of the possible cost of repair. For example, anything with the word "pump" in it would run around $600.
Although I had resigned myself to the fact that I needed a new vehicle, I couldn't help but feel like I was having a faithful old dog put down and then replacing it with a new puppy. The only consolation all I have is that perhaps someone else will take in my car and get a few more miles out of it.
So here I am with my bouncy puppy minivan and it is shiny and pretty and it does have all the features. It's comfortable but it's not entirely familiar yet. However experience has taught me that a few weeks in the seat day after day in the carline and treking down the highway will get us better equated get us better acquainted . We will develop that relationship.

Art of the Blog.... Or, Is this thing on?

Still here. Nothing much has changed since my last post. Had a busy summer, now we're back in school. Baby boy turns 3 next week. Crazy, right? Just haven't been feeling it where the blog is concerned. Maybe later.

Temptations

Fridays during Lent can be a bit tough for me. Turkey and chicken, two of my favorite salad protein additives, are off limits. Fortunately, I am a seafood lover, so there are plenty of Catholic friendly substitutes available. The problems that it poses are one, I am lousy at planning and two, the more I have to think about food, the more I think about food. I do better with food as a utility; something like, putting gas in the car. That way I don't obsess. It has been so much easier lately, because when I start to go a little crazy with cravings, I just remind myself how good it feels when those numbers on the scale come up smaller. I would liken it to having your number come up in a ( small) lottery.
I am pleased that even if I do lose control a little (nacho chips at Chilli's, or the dozen (?) little bite sized chocolate bunnies I couldn't resist)
I do seem to maintain a modicum of control. More importantly, I don't surrender and quit until next time I decide to lose weight, as I did in the past. That is huge for me! So, a few chocolate bunnies will not be the death of me, nor will they lead me to further temptation, like Mickey D's sweet tea or a Steak & Shake large mocha....See what I mean about thinking about food?

Notice My Little Weight Ticker? --> -->

I have lost 17 lbs in about 5 weeks! Now this is proportionally a small amount compared to my total weight. It is however, a significant accomplishment for me. For the first time in my adult life, I am actually doing all the right things to lose weight. I have the diet that I can live with ( as evidenced by the fact I haven't seriously cheated or given up). I have a great workout program and a trainer who is behind me every step of the way. I have to say, a degree of accountability makes all the difference. Actually showing someone what I am eating and what I really weigh keeps me motivated to make better choices.
In other related news, my trainer has me RUNNING! Granted, it's just for 40 yd sprints, but a few months ago, I never would have expected to be able to do it at all and today I was actually getting progressively FASTER! Hopefully, as I increase my cardio, my weight loss will increase and I will find it easier to do more cardio! So simple! Why didn't I think of it years and years ago??

Lucky 13

Daughter #2 turned 13 this past week. Time flies. In celebration, I took her and four friends to our place at the beach for the weekend. I shall spare the details, except to say that I went to the gym this morning fully expecting to weigh in at least 2 lbs heavier. Needless to say, I was shocked to discover I was around 2 lbs lighter!!
I am feeling very proud of myself. I have been working hard to stay on my diet and my food diary keeps me on track. I actually add to my portions sometimes just to make sure I am as accurate as I can be. I logged the slice of Birthday cake I ate as two, to give ample calorie credit. I am trying to make good choices in order to keep myself motivated. I have to say that it is a lot easier to be motivated when you have easy results like I have had. I can't help wondering how things will be, say a month, or two down the road when the pounds are coming off more slowly.
For once I am really doing things right. I have the right food, a nutrition plan, exercise and my trainer to keep me moving in the right direction. I can actually visualize myself in this for the long run. That has seemed like such an unreachable goal; I have resigned myself to being heavy so many times. Now, with a mere 14 lbs gone, I feel hopeful.

Back in the Saddle Again

Friday, I had an epiphany. On impulse, I jumped on the scale at the gym and was shocked to discover that I had regained a bunch of pounds since the last time I weighed and actually hit what I refer to as my "cap weight". I call it that because in the many years I have been fighting with my weight, I have never been higher than that point. I felt terrible. Here I am working out three days a week and in many ways, in much better shape than I have ever been, and heavy as ever. It is just sad.
So, rather than sitting back and doing nothing, I took the weekend to eat myself into a food coma, indulging in all those things I feel deprived of most of the time. On Monday, I began eating right and did a couple of days of a cleanse. I also did something incredibly drastic. I told my trainer that I would weigh in every time I come to the gym and tell him what I ACTUALLY weigh. I think the accountability to another person really helps me and he is really enthusiastic and supportive. We agreed I would weigh in beginning Wednesday. Much to my delight, I had already lost four pounds since Friday! Today, I discovered I have lost another 3.4 lbs! I am nearly 8 lbs lighter than last week! Not a bad start.
My trainer wants to watch my calories, and to keep it simple, told me just to text him pics of whatever I eat. I was slightly intimidated and a little cheeped out by idea, so I started looking at food diary apps for my ever-present smart phone. I found a freebie, Myfitnesspal. It is soooooo cool and easy to use and EVERYONE who has tried it loves it. It is very simple to use and the function that just thrills me is that it can scan the bar codes on food products and come up with all the nutritional info. You enter the portion amount and voila'! Everything from the calories to the amount of calcium, vitamins, fiber, etc, you consume is logged. It makes nifty graphs, and all kinds of stuff. You can enter exercise, how much water you drank, and it has blogging and networking features. (Also available via computer.) I love it! I am so impressed that I put their little weight loss thingy on my blog. That's a first.
Anyway, nothing has fundamentally changed with my life, kids, stresses and such, but for some reason, I am in a really good place now, and I feel like I really have got all of the pieces in place this time. I think it will really make a difference having my trainer backing me up. I am excited. For the first time in about four years,I think I can really do this.

Reunited and It Feels So Good

Christmas is over and I am actually sitting in a well- known Las Vegas casino as I write this, waiting on my hubby. We are enjoying a couple of kid free days together before the real world steps back in and yanks him back to work/school. Meanwhile, back at the ranch, mom-in-law is staying with the kiddies, all eight of em. I just love having everybody back in one place, not just for me, but so the little guys get some bonding time with their big bros and the girls can have some "big kid" time with the guys as well. We went to Christmas mass the other day and filled an entire row, minus daughters 1&2 who were alter servers, and I spent more time watching my four guys, dad and little sis interacting than paying attention to the service.(The littlest guy amazingly fell asleep on my lap!) To say I am proud of my family is an understatement. And it has nothing to do with numbers. They are just such amazing people and I am truly blessed to have them in my life. Watching them learn and grow and discover the world is so amazing. I never get tired of the "firsts" even for the eighth time because its new and different with each child.
So, for a few more precious days after I get home, I will revel in my cozy nest full of kids, until the final day when the big ones get in their cars and drive back to their new lives. And I can go back to counting the days till I have them back again.