Ode to Uncle Marv

His sisters called him "Punkie". At least his oldest one did. He was my husband's uncle. I didn't know him very well, which seems a shame now that he is gone. He died this morning of a brain tumor.

My husband's father died before we were married, just dating and the first time I met Uncle Marvin was at the funeral. I was startled by how much he resembled his late brother, though his brother had been heavier, but especially when he laughed, he sounded so much like his brother. After his dad died, my husband found renewed interest in his extended family and we went to stay with Marvin, his wife and 3 kids when we had only one child and were expecting our second. When I look back on that trip, I wonder if I was as much of a miserable shrew as I remember.

Some years later, Marvin and his wife came drove down to visit us. It was a nice enough visit, but I remember Marvin as being very opinionated about any and everything (obviously a genetic trait in that family).

My husband would visit them whenever his business took him their way, but that was the last time I saw Marvin, until about a year ago. He had been diagnosed with the brain tumor (stage 4) some months earlier, and the family decided that we should have a reunion before it was too late I suppose. And there was the fact that there hadn't been a true reunion in nearly 25 years. There was some speculation as to whether Marvin would be up to the trip. The treatments he received were seemingly worse than the disease in some ways. But when we arrived at my husband's aunt's house, there he sat at the head of the table. He was a swollen figure of his former self due to steroids I suppose, and he didn't say much the entire day, but occasionally, he would pipe up with some memory or story as we looked through old family photos.

I think we knew when we left that living as far away as we do, that would be the last time we would see him. I really wish there were some way I could have impressed upon my kids the significance of this man, as he was sort of a last link to the grandfather they never met, but truth is, they were too immature to get it and frankly, too much of Marvin was already gone.

Uncle Marvin leaves behind a devoted wife, 2 sons, a daughter and two grandchildren. I have shed no tears for him, but I know they have. I am sorry for their loss, and ours too. Rest in peace, Uncle Marv. I bet there's lots of ice cream in Heaven's freezer. And I know your dad and your brother will be glad to see you.