I guess I must have missed a meeting or something...

I have just come from the Mall. I am still shaking and slightly delirious from the experience. It all started innocently enough. #1 daughter's new friend invited her to come shopping with her, her mom, little sisters and grandma. They were going to look for dresses to wear to the homecoming dance. Okay, no big deal; we have picked out dresses for all those dances in middle school, so she knows the guidelines. A few hours later she texted me that she was ready to go, so I picked her up. She told me she had a dress on hold at at a store until 5:30, but was too tired to look at it now, but I told her I had to go to mass at 4, so it was now or never, so we went.

As we headed to the Jr. dress dept., there was suddenly music playing. There was a DJ playing songs. There was a popcorn stand. It looked like a party. Continuing around the corner, we encountered a throng of high school aged girls swarming around tiny sparkly dresses like locusts on a feeding frenzy while tired mothers looked on. I watched a parade of girls coming in and out of the dressing room in these little satin and sequined confections and finally asked one of the moms if they too were looking for homecoming dresses. She nodded wearily. Then I asked when did homecoming become the prom? She shrugged and let out a sigh.
Anyway, daughter reclaimed her dress from an overly enthusiastic Asian lady clerk who had held it for her. We waited to win the dressing room lottery and finally got a booth. She tried on that one and another that she liked (2nd choice) and after making her get the first one in a larger size, we stumbled to the register, paid (with the Asian clerk crowing to her coworkers "this is the one I held this morning!" (I guess a lot of holdees don't come back) and emerged back in daylight and made our way to the car.

As a result of various events regarding our older two daughters this week, I have made some decisions regarding the futures of all three:

1) I am going to enroll #2 daughter in so many sports programs for the next three years that she will be too much of a jock to wear dresses. That doesn't work, we go the E. German route and hit the steroids!

2) I am giving #3 to my sister to raise.

There is no freakin way I am going through this THREE TIMES!!!!
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to text #1 son and tell 2 thru 5 how much I appreciate them being boys..... ; - )