If Chocolate were a Man

I am a sugar addict. I have said it before, but my sweet tooth is so large, it can be seen from space. I have been giving a lot of thought to all the years I have wasted in pursuit of sweets, sugar and chocolate of every type.

I have eaten entire bags of chocolate chip cookies in a sitting. I have hoarded Halloween candy. I have consumed gallons of sweet tea. I have devoured stacks of pancakes drowning in sweet, rich syrup. I have eaten frosting from a plastic container that has never been near an actual cake. And what do I have to show for my constant attention and devotion to my pursuit? Hips and a butt that can be seen from space. In addition, after swearing off processed sugar, etc for 10 days or so, I have come to believe that all that sweet, made me less so. In other words, I think while chocolate gives me sort of a "high" at first bite, when it wears off, it actually does quite the opposite.

So, Sugar, I hate to say this, but I am breaking up with you. This relationship is seriously dysfunctional and I think I deserve better. I will think of you fondly as I cruise through the bakery dept at Publix, or when I see the candy at the checkout, I will try to remember the good times, but when I catch my reflection in the sliding glass doors, I'll remember why we can't be together anymore.