Too Much of a Good Thing?

Son #2 has been away at school for about a month and a half. I have missed him, but things have settled back into a normal (busy) routine, so I don't dwell on it anymore. Well, that, and the fact that through the miracle that is cellular phones, we talk or text nearly every day, sometimes a half dozen times. Lest you think I am a clingy mother, let me state for the record that it is HIM contacting ME! Truth is, he's taking 19 credit hours, but he's only in class from say, 10-2, so he has LOTS of free time even after his mounds of homework. His room mates spend their time partying and then sleeping it off, but my guy wants no part of that. While a lot of these folks are on the five year plan, he is posed to be done with at least one degree in two years or perhaps two in three years like big bro. Anyway, with all his free time, he reaches out to the only other person he knows who is almost always available - Mom. Now, don't get me wrong, I WANT him to feel free to call me. I feel bad that my oldest and I don't talk as much any more. But frankly, I run out of things to say to him and I feel like I am disappointing him if I have to hang up to deal with something going on with the other kids at home. No, I don't ever want him to stop calling, but I hope he will make some new friends and find some other outlets for his time.

Obviously, I've Completely Lost My Mind

It started with trying to impress my trainer and reclaiming some of the ground I lost in the past three years. I decided to do a 5K in November. I was actually still in the "mulling it over" stage, when Hubby emailed me about a nearby half marathon he is doing in February. He invited me to do it with him. I skipped the lol and politely declined, offering instead to be there to cheer him on and give him some tlc at the end.
Now, normally, it would have ended right there. However, while making small talk with my trainer the next day, I happened to mention it. Well, in an instant, he was all over the idea of me doing this race. His enthusiasm was a bit overwhelming at first, and I still wasn't totally sold. Then I compounded my mistake by telling hubby what trainer said. Well, he was so excited and enthusiastic at the mere thought of me doing this race, that I let myself get caught up in the moment and told him to sign me up.
Since then, my newly motivated trainer has been developing my training plan and my hubby just bought me a racing shirt that says, "if found on the ground, please drag my body across the finish line" or something like that, and a magnet for the car that says "13.1 because I'm only half crazy". Oy. What have I done?

Technically Speaking, He's Not My Baby Anymore

My youngest turns 2 on Saturday. When I think back on all that has happened since I found out I was pregnant with him, it astounds me. The biggest thing I suppose, was me joining the gym. It really made the pregnancy go by quickly and easily, though as you might suspect, a woman with eight kids doesn't typically have difficult pregnancies. I am still not where I had hoped to be weight-wise by now, but all other areas are doing well.
When this guy was born, his oldest brother was starting his second year of undergrad and now he holds 2 degrees and is in grad school. Even more amazing is that his dad is slightly more than a year away from graduating law school! I never could have imagined that the business he worked for 20+ years to build would be legislated out of existence before baby turned 5.
These past couple of years have brought great challenges and great joys, that little boy being at the top of everyone's list of joys. It never ceases to amaze me how these little people come into your life and completely fill a space you never realized existed in your life and you can't ever imagine how you lived before, without them.
Getting back to the "not my baby anymore" thing; he is most certainly a toddler, running, climbing, playing, talking, and scrolling through the photos of him on my phone. But in the motherly sense, he will always be my "baby" just as his 7 siblings still are.
Happy Birthday, big guy!

What a Difference a Month Makes

Almost the last day of August. Technically, summer ended for us a couple of weeks ago, about the time we came home from Orlando. Since then, we have been back in school mode, starting with high school on the 15th. #1 daughter jumped back in with both feet, loaded with honors and AP courses (forgive my bragging, but I am so proud of her!) and she is the new co-captain of the JV cheer leading squad.
The Thursday after she started, I headed south to help #1 son move into his new digs for grad school. He's an old pro, having done this move-in thing for the past three years, so it was same routine, new campus. His girlfriend and I got the place spic and span and after a run to Ikea for book shelves for hubby and very oddly named kitchen utensils for sonny's new kitchenette, I headed home in the middle of the night so I could spend all day Sunday picking up remaining items for the rest of the crew who started school on the 22nd.
The rest of the kids, including the baby started school last week. Baby goes to school from 9-12, Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Someone asked me the other day if I was sad to see my littlest guy start school. I may have seemed a bit too eager when I said no, before they actually finished asking the question. Ooops...
The following Thursday, #2 son and I set off for his new college. He is going to the same school big bro just graduated from, dorm room and all. We were worried we might run into Hurricane Irene, but she decided to spare us and move east and north. We got him all settled and again I headed home to get ready for Monday morning.
I realize that since this is the second kid to leave home, it was naturally a little easier. I feel a bit guilty that I haven't had a good cry or anything though, as if he weren't worth it or something. Truth is I miss him a hundred different little ways in a day and I am trying not smother him with continuous texts. There does seem to be something of a vacuum in the house since he left and I think the smaller kids are more sensitive to it than I am.
So, once again, we work toward having a "new normal" where the oldest child in the house is a female and there is one seat empty in the SUV for the first time in over four years. We still have a lot things hanging over us as far as what the future holds and a lot of stress. Some things NEVER change. Well, we will just have to see where we are a month from now.

At Least We Didn't Have to Have Her Put Down

A not so funny thing happened the night before we were to leave for Orlando. Daughter #2, who has boundless energy even at 11pm was basically "jogging" in place in my carpeted hallway and cracked a bone in her foot. We didn't know it was cracked until the next day when I took her to the walk-in clinic and got it x-rayed. They put a walking boot on it to stabilize it and unable to get in to see the orthopedist till the following week, I bought her a pair of crutches, rented a wheel chair, bundled everyone in the car and left.
Universal was fun. It was really nice to see the kids work together where their sister was concerned as far as pushing her wheel chair, etc. It was blazing hot, and very crowded, especially the Harry Potter stuff, but hubby worked his salesman charm on the girl at the ticket window when we arrived, explaining my daughter's unfortunate accident, etc and scored us some serious line passes. We were able to pretty much ride whatever we wanted to. We spent some time just lounging at the hotel as well which was nice. It was just a good opportunity for family togetherness. The boys roomed together, the sisters shared a room without killing each other and it all went pretty smoothly, with one exception. To add insult to injury, number 2 daughter, already felled with a fractured foot, developed a fever and grew increasingly sicker. We discovered upon our return, that she had a raging ear infection. To say that she has less than happy memories of the trip would be an understatement. Oh well. They shoot horses, don't they?

That Old Familiar Feeling

Dread.
The end of July is nearly upon us and I have the feeling that with at least one kid going back to school in about two weeks, summer has passed us by. We are taking all the kiddies to Universal for a few days next week, but I find it difficult to get enthused about standing in long lines in the glaring sun waiting to "experience" Harry Potter.
On the bright side, at least we will all be together for those few precious days.
I know that it will sound completely ridiculous to most people when I say this, but with the prospect of only having 6 children living under my roof come this time next month, I am feeling like a bit of an empty-nester. There is going to be an empty seat in my 8 passenger SUV, for the first time in over 4 years. And the fact is that with my son's departure, the time clock for my daughter's departure ticks that much louder.
I always have these idealized visions of summer and they never come true, though we get closer some years more than others. This year I just feel cheated. There was summer school for my son, which hampered traveling until mid July and there was summer school for my law-school hubby, who successfully completed L1 and got a good jump on L2 with his courses also through mid July. The problem there is that he lives in our "vacation" home while attending school, which makes it difficult to use it for vacationing with the kids, especially during finals.
So, I am left with the remaining 17 days of summer to get the most out of them and to accomplish whatever it was that I hoped to, back in June, when we should have had all the time in the world.

For Michelle

Michelle passed away last night, peacefully, after a long battle with cancer. Her oldest son is my #2 son's best friend. She also has a son the same age as my #1 daughter. They are such great kids and I think of them as part of our family.
I didn't know Michelle as well as I would have liked to. She was new to the area when our sons started high school. We were occasionally thrown together when our sons did something together. Then we would talk on the phone, sometimes for an hour, but never frequently. Not long after we met, she began experiencing strange symptoms and was diagnosed with a brain tumor. It took everything she had, but she recovered after a long difficult treatment period. She seemed to be through the worst, then things turned bad again a year ago last spring. It took a long while for a diagnosis; I don't know all of the details, but she told me the day before Halloween that she had bone and lung cancer. I was devastated by the news. I asked her if it was safe for my me to hug her (for fear of making her sicker). Throughout the winter, she endured pure hell. I only got infrequent updates. Then she came home from the hospital. It seemed as though she was improving. There was the possibility of her attending our sons' graduation, with help of a special wheelchair. Unfortunately, she had to be taken back to the hospital and couldn't go. I prayed for a miracle recovery, but alas, it wasn't to be. She apparently slipped into a coma over the weekend and never woke up.
As I said earlier, I didn't know Michelle as well as I would have liked to. She was an extremely intelligent woman, having studied engineering, very artistic as evidenced by her paintings around the house and a devoted mother and Catholic. Her legacy lives on through her sons, both very fine young men. She hadn't finished raising them, but the seeds that she planted in them will grow and flourish. My heart aches for them so much. In certain ways, they have been without her for some time, but now she is really gone and there is an emptinesss that must seem impossible to fill. God, what I wouldn't give to be able to ease their pain.